reflection

Out of boredom, I read through my entire blog starting from the first post and a few things caught my atention.
I think it's really time for some reflection.

First thing, time flies. Everything in my blog is still fresh in my memory as though they have just happened yesterday but the truth is more than half a year have passed. Wow!

Next, i find that my english is ineffably poor. I feel so embarassed when i am reading my own blog :( please help me, i want to improve!

Also, i notice that i seldom capture the joyous moments of my life in the blog and on the contrary full of emo posts. So, from now on i'm going to change this.

Other than these, i also realise that i seldom talk about my choir. For a simple reason, my conductor does not like people to talk about it in blog. I love the choir as much as i hate it. So, it's only wise that i don't speak about it or else i might get into trouble. It's 2 days to SYF. I am not sure how well we can do but i am accepting whatever results that we are going to achieve. To be honest, what i think is that we are both equally responsible for the quality of the choir now. On our part, we did not do our best, there wasn't a clear leader and sectionals weren't put into place to ensure that we are technically firm. However, on her part, she focused on us only at a very late stage, she didn't know the score well before this and she was quite fickle-minded as she always didn't know what she really wanted. Despite all these, i still think that she is a very nice person and i love every single one of you in the choir.

The last thing that i find it interesting is my very second post. I was talking about getting the worst results in my life and was analyzing why did it occured. The funniest part was i said that i must change. And here i am, 6 months later, mourning over my poor results and letting my family, friends and teachers down. Have i changed? Everyone around me now is a smarter opponent. Why is this happening? I reflected on it and the major reason that i can think of is that i am no longer thinking. I couldn't remember when but i had acquired this attitude of seeing thinking as labourous chore and i should just avoid any occasion that requires it. This is probably why i couldn't analyse things properly nowadays. I am no longer conscious. This explains why i am constantly making the wrong choices lately.

Okay, apart from all that i have said above, my main point for this post is to tell everyone of you that this is all going to end right at this post and i mean it! yeah!